In preparing your draft for Wednesday...

Remember to:

• review your assignment page, which lists the evaluation criteria of a good expository essay.

• check off everything that belongs in the folder, including: a self-reflective letter AND a folder.

• read your paper aloud, slowly, to find careless errors.

Based on the first go-round of papers, please check your draft against the following checklist:

1. Every paragraph is about one thing. (Use paragraph breaks!)
   
2. The transitions between paragraphs aren't abrupt.
3. The length of sentences varies in each paragraph.
4. Each sentence is concise. There are no unnecessary words or phrases.
5. You've checked grammar, particularly verb agreement, run-on sentences, unclear pronouns.
6. You've run spell-checker and proofed your paper.

Source: The Curious Writer by Bruce Ballenger

A good topic question...

A good topic question follows, with some suggestions that may help everyone in terms of thinking through how much information to include, which of the three main questions you might answer, etc.

Q - I have been having a little trouble on this essay because I am writing about Jujitsu, a topic that I know nothing about. My material is very out of order and I’m not quite sure about what information to include.

A - Definition (What) will obviously be the bulk of your essay. What is jujitsu, when and where did it originate, what differences does it have compared to other martial arts forms?

Look at the "EXTENDED definition" questions in your textbook (somewhere around page 346 or so). These should help you explain the martial art without much trouble.

Look for such sources as a HOW TO book, which almost always includes in the introduction a history of the martial art. You might also find good sources -- maybe an international jujitsu association -- on the Web via scrolling down on Wikipedia to Sources or via a google search. (Just remember that Wikipedia is not a source. You must substantiate any sources that you find via Wikipedia.)

For another source, you might use the library's online article databases to find a martial arts magazine that might have some interesting articles to include.

Note: I wouldn't recommend going into HOW TO because that will take you beyond the scope of a short expository essay.

That said, you should mention basic differences between jujitsu and other martial arts that might have basic "how to" elements. (For example: "Jujitsu differs from karate in the use of >>>>>> instead of >>>>>>. Whereas in a karate, a punch and kick combination serves as a basic attack move, in jujitsu an attack may consist of >>>>>>>>"

Part of your definition will likely explain WHY jujitsu originated (cause and effect). What caused the martial art to develop and what effect did it have on fighting styles? What purpose/need did jujitsu fulfill?

Hope this helps.

Wednesday's question of the day!

No reading but a short writing assignment

To give you time to work on your first draft of your research-based expository essay, there will be no reading assignment for Monday, Sept. 29.

Instead, please write an anonymous (i.e. do not put your name on it) evaluation of how class is going for you so far.

Please briefly cover what you have learned and are learning in class and in the reading and homework assignments;

what your favorite activities have been thus far;

which activities have been less helpful, or not at all helpful;

what would you like to do more of/less of in class;

And what you're learning compared to what you would like to learn.

Bring these to class on Monday. They can be short. Feel free to hand-write or type them.

thanks
mc

Neisha asks...

Q - So our focus statement is basically a thesis in paragraph form? I know you mentioned it in class but I just wanna make sure...thanks!!


A - Hi Neisha - in a sense, a focus statement is a thesis but in much broader terms. So from my example, I'd whittle the thesis down to this:



Reading and being prepared for class is important for doing well in college classes.

Sample Focus Statement: Expository Essay

Remember that your expository essay will answer one or more of these questions:

What something is

How something happens or should happen

Why something happens

When you've selected a topic and done some initial research, you're ready to write your focus statement. This will help you write the paper by providing an overview of the paper's coverage.

My FOCUS STATEMENT example from class today:

I'm going to explain why reading assignments are important for doing well in college. First, I'll define what a reading assignment is (by using an example). Next, I'll explain how a reading assignment should be done. Finally, I'll explain why the reading process is important by comparing and contrasting the effects in grade evaluations of students who read and were prepared with grade evaluations of students who did not read or prepare for class. In addition to my own experience as a teacher witnessing this most-peculiar of phenomena, I'll use academic research that cites the correlation between reading/being prepared and better grade performance.

Be like Wilbur!!!

Here's your chance to win an apple or a banana or some good snack swiped early in the morning from one of my boys' packed lunches:

Listen to this NPR profile of billionaire Wilbur Ross and find out what he says about the process of writing. (NOTE: There's an article, too, but to learn the answer, you have to listen to the interview.

CLICK HERE

What does Wilbur say about the process of writing? What does it force him to do?

Post your answers here and the first person from each class to reply takes food out of my sons' mouths!!!

Another good topic question

Lauren Pearson wrote with an excellent question and I'm pasting it below, along with my answer. Everyone else should feel free to join in with comments, too. Why? Because, there are no right or wrong answers, correct?

Q - I am having a little bit of trouble picking an essay topic and I was wondering if you could give me a little help. The three topics I have narrowed it down to are 1) Spraining my foot during my senior year soccer playoff game which we ended up winning and having to decide whether to play in the next game which could be my last soccer game ever (which I did end up doing) . 2) Having mono and how it affected my sophomore year of high school and things like soccer, school and family. 3) I have a huge fear of speaking in front of classrooms and last year I had a huge senior project where I had to do a 10 minute presentation in front of my classroom and then 4 teachers. I worried about it for months but faced my fear and ended up doing great on it.

I am not even sure if any of those are good. I am having alot of trouble with picking the right one.

A - First, check out what Mike Warren posted on the blog and my response

Second, all of your ideas are excellent. Remember that I'm just a reader -- I'm not you as the writer -- so consider these comments as a thoughts only.

I'm drawn to the soccer experience and to the public speaking experience more than mono, only because both are more focused.

Re: soccer, the focus is on your decision to play a game at the risk of injury (lots of conflict leading up to your decision and nice resolution with playing - then you can show us how it worked out).

Re: public speaking, the focus is, again, on a specific event that you had to get through to (crisis) to the other side (resolution). The tension rises as you recount the build-up to speaking, as you capture the FEELINGS (fear? anger?). The crisis moment of actually speaking will make for an excellent scene (as will the soccer game above).

Finally, most people can identify with the fear of public speaking. Fewer people your age, but still some, will be able to identify with a hard choice about playing at the risk of ruining your ability to play again.

You should be very pleased with your ideas. I like all three but believe you'll find soccer or public speaking "easier" and of these two, you might that the realization from the speaking experience is more manageable for your first essay.

May I please post this on the blog -- either crediting you or not? It's such a great example of good ideas that call for "Exhilaration" now that you've done some excellent work

Help with Topic Selection

Great work on your topic ideas today.

Three questions came up several times, so I'll answer them here and also invite each of you to weigh in with any ideas and/or help for one another. (Hint: I'll take note of folks who are willing to raise questions on the blog and those who are willing to help answer them.)

Q - I can't think of anything that's really changed my life.

A - Each of you has had experiences that have changed your life, whether you realize it or not. At age 18 (some of you are older/younger), you're not the same person you were five or ten years ago. You've learned how to make decisions for yourself, to determine what you believe, to make choices for which you'll bear responsibility.

If you're having trouble identifying a topic that seems "important enough" or one that changed you, visit (or re-visit) this website for some good questions that might help you come up with an idea:

http://members.accessus.net/~bradley/narrativeprompts2.html

Once you've gotten a couple ideas that might work, start to freewrite about each idea using the prompt, "I remember..." Write until you run out of ideas and then immediately begin another sentence with, "I remember..."

You might also look again at your interest inventory. Re-read the questions and your answers. Perhaps these will spark an idea.

The "Topic Questions" on today's handout will help you determine if an idea is strong enough to carry a personal essay.

Some of you developed ideas that were meaningful to you in ways that you couldn't define. For example, several people raised "the day I graduated from high school" as your idea.

Certainly, this was an important moment in your life, and it can make a great essay IF you think deeply about what changes occured on that day.

For example, perhaps you heard your name called and the experience of walking across the stage for your diploma filled you with a sense that something powerful was happening. Maybe you didn't know what it was until you began school here at UNCC. Your essay can be about that day, described in vivid detail, and how you weren't sure what it meant but sensed that something was happening.

Then, when you got to UNCC and were assigned this essay, perhaps you looked back and realized that what was happening was that you were absolutely free from school as you'd known it for 13 years. Perhaps thinking through this essay helped you understand that you call the shots now: no one will make you go to class, no one will call your parents if miss a test. It's all up to you. That's a big realization that might happen between high school graduation and college, even if its impact isn't understood until later.

Q - I've got several ideas but they're all tied together and I don't know how to bring all the details into one essay.

A - Almost as difficult as feeling as if you don't have anything to write about is feeling as if you have too much to write about.

For a personal essay that's to run somewhere in the four- to six-page count, you'll need to focus your ideas into one moment or series of moments that build to one important realization. In addition to using the Topic Questions in today's handout, I suggest you freewrite about your various ideas and try to find one scene that you can use as the central point of the essay.

For example, if you want to write about how depression runs in your family and how when you first got depressed, you realized what your mom went through as you were growing up and also that you were going to have to take medicine and what a great gift it is that there's medicine now because all of the stories you heard about Great Uncle Joey made you feel really sad that they didn't have medicine then for depression but you're were also thinking that the good news is that you could probably stop taking medicine for stomach ulcers now because your doctor said that your anti-depressants would make you feel so much better than your stomach would begin to heal. And guess what? It did.

An idea like this needs focus and the best way to reign it in would be to pick a scene that holds the most promise for using vivid sensory details and for creating tension, conflict, and dialogue.

From the above idea, you might describe the scene in the doctor's office when you first learned that you were clinically depressed. The conflict might be that you don't want to take medicine but you learn that you have to if you want to get better. You might limit your insight into how you first felt hope in a long time and realized that you were feeling this way because of an illness and not some personal weakness. Or you could choose a scene of your mom telling stories about Uncle Joey, which might have led you to realize that depression is a family illness and perhaps this was the first time you felt true empathy for your mom.

Q - Everyone's ideas are about getting thrown into jail or wrecking their cars. My idea isn't a big event. Is that okay?

A - Absolutely. Frequently the most extraodinary changes in our lives come from seemingly ordinary events. A big realization to us may not be so big to another writer. If your idea is about how you planted a dogwood tree at age six and watched it grow, that's a more than sufficient idea for an essay provided you delve into the meaning of the experiencefor you. What about planting that tree was significant? When you see it now, as an adult, what does it make you think of?

PLEASE REMEMBER that these answers are just suggestions and that you can choose to do whatever you wish with your essay. We'll discuss narrative strategies on Wednesday; however, it's early in the semester and I understand that you're just getting warmed up as writers. Don't freak out about the assignment. Just follow the process -- and trust the process -- and see what you come up with. You'll have ample opportunity during the semester to revise your work as you learn more and more skills to apply to your work.